Monthly Archives: July 2014

Negative Thoughts the Sequel

I woke up thinking negatively about my job.  Thought about it all the way into work today.  Then I got to a point in my commute where a bunch of firemen were collecting money for kids suffering from Spinal Muscular Atrophy.  I thought, is god giving me a sign to stop worrying about my job.  These children have a tough life and I am worrying about my inconsequential problems.  I took it as a sign and my day went pretty smoothly.  There were of course times that all I could think about were what I was going to do when I lost my job.

But on balance it went really well.  And then the CEO showed up.  And you know what happened, NOTHING.  It was like a normal day to everyone else.  What a moron I am.  So I go on with my life and my job.  I am sure tomorrow something else will make me crazy.

 

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Seeing the worst in every situation

I have come to a point in my life where I see the worst possible outcome in most events.  I start a project at home and foresee failure.  I go for a workout and expect a heart attack with the smallest chest pain.  I have a pain in my arm and I think heart problems.  I go to by something and automatically think I am being taken advantage of.  I plan an event with the family and think something will go wrong.  It is the worst at work.  I see a closed door meeting and think it is my bosses talking about me, about a failed project.  A client doesn’t speak to me at a large meeting I think what did I do wrong.  In actuality none of these things have anything to do with me.  I have no problems, but my mind is out of control.

Tomorrow the CEO and HR director will be coming to our office and my immediate thought is that I am going to be laid off.

I have to get over this.