Category Archives: Uncategorized

Negative Thoughts the Sequel

I woke up thinking negatively about my job.  Thought about it all the way into work today.  Then I got to a point in my commute where a bunch of firemen were collecting money for kids suffering from Spinal Muscular Atrophy.  I thought, is god giving me a sign to stop worrying about my job.  These children have a tough life and I am worrying about my inconsequential problems.  I took it as a sign and my day went pretty smoothly.  There were of course times that all I could think about were what I was going to do when I lost my job.

But on balance it went really well.  And then the CEO showed up.  And you know what happened, NOTHING.  It was like a normal day to everyone else.  What a moron I am.  So I go on with my life and my job.  I am sure tomorrow something else will make me crazy.


Seeing the worst in every situation

I have come to a point in my life where I see the worst possible outcome in most events.  I start a project at home and foresee failure.  I go for a workout and expect a heart attack with the smallest chest pain.  I have a pain in my arm and I think heart problems.  I go to by something and automatically think I am being taken advantage of.  I plan an event with the family and think something will go wrong.  It is the worst at work.  I see a closed door meeting and think it is my bosses talking about me, about a failed project.  A client doesn’t speak to me at a large meeting I think what did I do wrong.  In actuality none of these things have anything to do with me.  I have no problems, but my mind is out of control.

Tomorrow the CEO and HR director will be coming to our office and my immediate thought is that I am going to be laid off.

I have to get over this.


Things to do today

Up at 3:16.  Tossing and turning for an hour thinking about all I need to do.  Work is crazy these days.  I am up to my eyeballs in tasks.  But as we say in engineering, “It is good to be busy.” Ha.  A colleague of mine says that statement is like a slave saying to another, “At least we are alive.”

I am working on 7 projects with more in the pipeline and no end in site.  I have 2 projects that I acquired from a former employee of the company.  I was assigned them when they went to bid.  So while I was learning about the project, I had to answer contractor questions about the project.  Finding problems has required significant design on one of the projects.  The worst part is that the project budget is nearly expended and the work is done on my own time.

Today I will be touching in some way all 5 of the projects.  Then I have rehab for my bad back.  I need to remember to call the doctor to schedule a visit to look at my sinus problems, then off to Freshman Orientation for my youngest son.

After all that I will be taking the dog for a walk to relieve some of the adrenaline I have coursing through my veins and try to work through some of the project issues I have.  Hopefully this will let me sleep later than 3 am.





I own a dog and can’t imagine our house without him there.  I can’t imagine why we didn’t get a dog sooner.  But God works in mysterious ways.

Our dog is a black lab and one of the best dogs around.  He is a mix of some sort but we are not sure a mix of what.  He was adopted after being turned into the SPCA because he was too much work for his owner.  We have really ben blessed.  But I am not a dog lover in the normal sense.  I don’t treat him like one of my kids.  But he acts like one sometimes.  It is great that when I come home from anywhere he acts like I have been gone a year.  That tail is wagging so hard his whole body is moving.  It was like when my kids were toddlers.  They acted the same way.

In any event, I found this post on a site called “Reshareworthy” from a link of a blog I read daily.  It is a great post.  It is called 20 Essential Facts Dog Lovers Must Always Remember.


Man Picks Up Struggling Single Mom’s Restaurant Tab

What a wonderful story.

Kindness Blog

Last week, while [eating out] with her youngest kids, the divorced mom (who asked to remain anonymous) approached a man sitting in a booth nearby and apologized in advance for the noise she knew her kids were likely to make, the local ABC affiliate reports. The man assured the woman that it would be no problem and that as a father himself, he could relate.

It wasn’t until after he left that the man’s kindness was revealed: before leaving the restaurant, he made arrangements to pay for the family’s meal, purchased a [-] gift card for them, and left the single mom of three a note that brought her to tears:

Source: Huffington Post

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Old Car vs New Car

Many times I have heard that today’s cars are less safe than yesterday’s cars.  The primary reasoning behind the argument is that the older cars were heavier and had more steel in them.  This video dispels that myth.  Watch to the end and see what happens to the dummy in the 1959 car as compared to the dummy in the 2009 car.  Very eye opening.

Business Travel


I was in NYC for the past two days for work.  Coming out of the Battery Tunnel I saw the site of the new “Freedom Tower”.  So I took this picture while sitting in traffic.

My job requires me to travel to NYC every two or three weeks for a day trip to look at sites that I am doing design for.  For this trip, due to the number of sites that I needed to visit, I took a 5:40 am flight, which required me to get up at 3 am.  I was exhausted by 11 am.  It normally ends up being a long day rising at 4 and returning home around 9 pm.  This trip I was “lucky” that it was a two-day trip.  Which allowed me to return to my hotel by 5:30.

There are two things that I dislike about these trips, the traffic and how people interact with each other.  The traffic is horrible, many of the local drivers are “crazy”, and the parking at the sites and attending meetings is beyond difficult.  I rent a car for my travels throughout the Burroughs.  This is the first of my discomforts for my trips.  My primary concern is that something is going to happen to the car either driving between sites or at the sites.  As I said the drivers are pretty crazy with the things they do.  When parking the car I more often than not have to park illegally to get anywhere near the site.  So now while I am at the site I worry about getting ticketed or towed.

On top of the driving are the people and their standard approach to interaction, that is they immediately go into aggressive confrontation mode when something happens that shouldn’t.  No one gets the benefit of the doubt and they assume they are going to try to take advantage of a situation.  Two examples of encounters I had on this trip illustrate how living in NYC really impacts people’s attitudes and demeanor towards others.  In both examples I readily admit that I made a mistake and admitted as such when confronted, but the approach by the other person in both instances was not what I am use to.

The first was at the Verrazano Narrows Bridge toll plaza.  The signs as you approach say easy pass only and others have both easy pass and cash.  So based on how easy pass is handled everywhere else in the state, I assumed that you could use easy pass in any lane.  I was wrong.  So I pull up and the toll collect starts yelling, “Hey! Hey! Where do you think you are going?”  I explained I said I just thought based on the signs.  And he was still very aggressive saying that I have to pay in cash.  I said okay and for whatever reason he realized that I wasn’t going to argue with him and he turned into a nice guy.  Like someone flipped a switch and he explained to me how screwed up the bridges are and that they are different from everywhere else.

The second personal interaction I had involved a little fender bump I had in traffic (and I just said that I am worried about other drivers).  Very minimal damage, in bumper to bumper traffic going about 2 miles an hour.  Every accident I have ever gotten into (not many I can assure you) the parties were cordial and exchange information.  It was never confrontational.  This woman, on the other hand, gets our of her car and gets all up in my face like I was going to start arguing with her.  I thought, holy crap.  After about a minute of discussion, she was a completely different person.

Now both of these situations were my fault.  I would think that you go into a situation not thinking the worst of someone.  I guess I am naïve.  This doesn’t happen in Buffalo, at least it has never happened to me.  It is a foreign reaction to me.  How difficult it must be to go through life always waiting for an argument and confrontation.   Always looking for someone trying to take advantage of a situation.

Next trip in July.  Hopefully I will be a better driver.

Great Weekend



Early morning golf.  Win a match and some money.  Dinner with good friends.  I always love good food and good company.  Drinks and deserts to finish off the evening.



Early morning golf.  Walk into the club house and handed $100 for a skins winner. Win some more money from the other pair in our foursome.  End up in second place in our club’s member/member tournament.  A nice 5 mile run to finish the day.

Now that I have rested and recharged time to get back at the projects that are waiting for me at the office.

A Cold Day

A long weekend.  Looking forward to nice May weather to relax and enjoy the outdoors.  Golf planned for today and tomorrow.  What do we get, a frost delay on May 25th.  I had long johns and 2 coats.  Wore a winter hat and a winter golf on my right hand (the left hand had the golf glove.). 

What the heck is going on.  I am in summer mode and sick of dressing for the cold.  It has gotten to the point where I have avoided running because I don’t want to get bundled up.

I want some warm weather!